


Mixed Signals

by Todesengel



Category: Voltron: Lion Voltron
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-23
Updated: 2003-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-22 21:36:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Todesengel/pseuds/Todesengel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keith has never been tempted by the thought of zero-G sex</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mixed Signals

"Space. The final frontier…"

Patrick Stewart's distinctive voice faded out as the small screen turned to static and white noise.

"Fuck." Keith smacked the side of the television then sighed. It looked like the signal was lost. "Fuck."

Well this was going to ruin his day. The best part of space travel was picking up signals from old transmissions. It was the only real way to get gay porn; Allura monitored the satellite feeds religiously and would certainly want to know what, exactly, "Good Will Humping" was.

"Keith?" Lance's voice sounded tinny and distant. Keith sighed and pushed away from the TV, his momentum sending him to the hatch that led to the control deck of the small supply craft. "Keith, come in."

"I'm here. What's up, Lance?"

"Just wanted to know how the video collection was coming."

Keith sighed. "Not so good. I got 'Hot Handed Luke' and 'Hot Studs 5' but then I hit some interference."

"Shit. You mean you couldn't get 'Hurt Me Bad?'"

"Nope." Keith rotated his ship's satellite, searching for a signal. "I'll keep trying, though."

"Okay. Hurry up, though. Hunk's getting antsy, and you know what happens when Hunk gets antsy."

"Yeah, we all learn not to drop our soap in the shower."

Lance laughed. "You make it sound as if we're in prison."

"Aren't we?"

"Well, yes, but you're not supposed to say that." Lance looked over his shoulder and grimaced. "Look, I have to go. I think I hear Allura coming. Good luck with the data collection. Lance out."

"Right. Keith out."

The communicator screen went black and Keith sat back. The scanner hadn't picked up a new signal and Keith wondered if he should perhaps move to a different location. Perhaps there was an energy wave nearby that was scrambling the signals. Ah well. The computer would let him know when it found a strong signal so he might as well take a nap while waiting.

It seemed he had closed his eyes for only a moment before the message began. "Hailing Captain Keith. Captain Keith, come in."

Keith snorted awake and sat up with enough force that had he not strapped himself in he would have sent himself flying into the counsel.

"Captain Keith, come in," the static filled voice called again.

Keith unstrapped himself and pushed off toward the docking hatch; it would be a far, far better thing to answer the hail before the hailer became testy, else a rather pleasant interlude might not be so pleasant.

"Keith, I know you're in there. Open up and let me in before I blast your ship to space debris and claim you as spoils of war."

Keith hit the intercom button as he glided past. "I'm coming, I'm coming. Keep your gun in your pants."

Pushing his way through the ship's narrow tunnels, Keith made his way to the docking door. The light that signaled a docked ship was blinking and Keith hit the open button. The door slid open with a soft _shhck_ and Lotor stepped through.

"Hello Captain."

"Prince Lotor," Keith said with a mocking grin. "Are you going to board me or stand in the doorway?"

"Oh, I'll board you all right," Lotor said. He reached out and grabbed Keith, pulling his floating body close. "I'm all set for rapine and pillaging."

"Oh Lotor, you know just what to say to steal a guy's heart." Keith batted his eyes at Lotor and then laughed when the prince made a disgusted face. "Well are you going to stand in the hatchway all day or are you going to come in?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Lotor grinned. "At least, I hope I will."

"Not if you keep acting like that you won't." Keith twisted out of Lotor's grasp and pulled himself along the corridor to the cockpit. "I'll have the gravity turned on in just a sec."

"Wait." Lotor snagged Keith's boot and pulled the floating man back. "Leave it off."

Keith raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Oh? Is this an actual raid, then? Should I be going for my gun?"

"No, no, I'm definitely here for sex."

"Good." Keith grinned, suddenly, a devilish glint in his eyes. "Then maybe I should be going for yours. That _is_ a gun in your pocket, isn't it?"

"Keith!" Lotor eeped. He pulled Keith's hand out of his pants and glared. "Not exactly subtle, are you?"

"Well, since you didn't want me to turn on the gravity, I assumed that you just wanted a quickie. Not that I'm opposed to that, mind."

"Please, that's so undignified." Lotor pulled himself further into Keith's small craft and closed the hatch that connected their two ships. "It's just. Haven't you ever wanted to have sex in zero G?"

"Honestly? No." Keith pulled himself free again and leveled his best disdainful look at his companion. "It's never actually seemed all that tempting to me."

"But -- But you're weightless! And you could, you know, fuck upside down or something."

"Yeah, and bump into shit, and there's no, you know, friction, so you have to be extra careful when you, you know, pull out and change positions or something -- cause you could pull out too fast and then, BAM! I have a concussion 'cause I've slammed into a console and how the fuck am I supposed to explain _that_ to Allura or Dr. Gorma? 'Yes, I was injured in the line of duty.' 'Oh? What duty?' "Why the duty of giving Lotor as much gay sex as he needs so he doesn't go on a rampage from sexual frustration.'"

Lotor chuckled. "That's part of your official duties as the Captain of Voltron?"

Keith nodded, looking so serious that Lotor almost believed him. "Yes. Didn't I send you the memo? Oh! Oh! And if we, you know, fucked in zero G, what about all the--" Keith stopped talking and started blushing furiously.

"The what?" Lotor thought that maybe he was a little too easy to turn on if Keith's embarrassment made him so achingly hard.

"You know what I'm talking about, fucker." Keith was as red as his jumpsuit and Lotor thought it looked good on him. The blush, not the jumpsuit. The only way that jumpsuit could possibly look good was if it was lying on the floor in a forgotten crumple, left behind because Keith was having lots and lots of sex. Preferably with Lotor, but, hey, the Prince of Doom wasn't too picky. As long as he got to watch, he didn't particularly who Keith was fucking. Or should that be whom?

"Hello? Hey! Still ranting here!"

Lotor blinked. "Sorry. I was just thinking about you naked. And now I'm wondering why the fuck you're still wearing that stupid jumpsuit and not giving me a blowjob."

Keith gave great blowjobs. He purred.

"Not until you let me finish my fucking rant."

"Fine, fine." Lotor sighed. Sometimes Keith picked the most annoying times to not want to have sex. "Finish your rant so you can fuck me."

"Thank you." Keith opened his mouth, then closed it, frowning. "Shoot. I can't remember what I was talking about."

"You were talking about how, if we fucked -- which I'm seriously doubting is going to happen at any point in my life time -- in zero G and we reached a mutually enjoyable state of orgasmic bliss--"

"Right! So, yeah, then there's spunk floating around in little sticky balls and that's just -- that's so incredibly gross, you know? How would we clean them up before they got over everything and shorted out the circuitry? And," Keith cut Lotor off with a glare, "no. Absolutely not. I am _not_ going to treat them like they were floating balls of orange juice or milk. No. Oh, and imagine how fucking uncomfortable it would be to fuck without gravity and your balls are just sort of...floating. And I'm not letting you strap me down to anything, cause a, we don't have the proper equipment, and b, if anybody's going to be strapped down, it'd have to be you."

"Finished?"

Keith nodded, and crossed his arms definitely, conveniently floating into Lotor's reach. "Yeah."

"Good." Lotor grabbed the front of Keith's jumpsuit and tugged, pushing off from the wall he clung to as he did so. They floated down the hallway, Keith not even putting up a token protest. "Now here's what we're going to do," he said conversationally. "We're going to go find some condoms, and we're going to turn on the gravity, and then I'm going to fuck you until you see rainbows. Okay?"

"Okay." They had made it to the cockpit and somewhere along the way, Lotor managed to get half of Keith's jumpsuit off. "Sounds good."

Lotor grinned, toothy and threatening and sexy all at once. "Thought you'd like that. And then," Lotor made sure that he had his hands in Keith's pants at this point, and was close enough that he could whisper his words, "when you're nice and plaint, and purring, I'm going to turn the gravity off, and we're going to do it all over again."

Keith would have protested, but, honestly, the thought of being fucked until he saw rainbows was really quite appealing. Besides, Lotor was doing naughty things with his hands and his mouth, so Keith sighed and nodded happily, and let Lotor have his merry way.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written long before Mary Roach wrote "Packing for Mars", and I think that this is a crying shame, since Mary Roach spends at least a chapter (or two) discussing the plausibility of zero-G sex.


End file.
